Finally found a post which perfectly describes who I am... thanks to Kyle for getting me the link!
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Zhang Zhao the old cripple was next, he begun to run towards a peasant but suddenly fell to a heart attack. Sun Ce screamed again, Huang Gai begun to urinate his pants as he fell over in comical laughter.
A dim light hit the left flank of the village, and Zhou Yu walked in, the camp man did a small turn, Sun Ce quickly pulled out his micro-phone.
"And now we see Zhou Yu, he is casually wearing a lepard skin sash and a pair of latex underpants... look at those abs ladies."
Da Qiao danced in excitement was Zhou Yu ripped off his clothes, Sun Ce looking shocked and running off in a homophobic fit. Huang Gai tore his clothes off and the men begun sizing each other up.
Sun Ce fell backwards and started crying. Da Qiao came over to Sun Ce and kissed him lightly on the cheek, Ce looking embarrsed.
Suddenly a deep voiced man, you know that one who does the previews for films, yeah that one dude you remember! well done, well that him, now back to the rp.
"Resist the Chaos, out June 24th in a cinema near you. Prepare for bisexual games, frilly laced garments and slapstick behaivor with halarious concequences. It is 100% garanteed to make you poop your pantaloons and produce a small patch of semen in your pants"
Sun Shao came in, dressed in a priests outfit and belowed in an alien voice that sounded like two rusty tins being rubbed together. Everyone looked at him when he then spewed up some pasta from his throat, he then produced a small trunk from his nose and gobbled it up.
If one man was Dr Ocypus, then who was the other... this famous quote from Julius Caesar stuck in Lu Xun's mind as it was his turn. Quickly Sun Ce tapped Square Square Square and Triangle, Lu Xun jumped up did a backflip and brought his twin blades down, sending a peasant flying in the air. The body dissapeared with no blood, leaving a large battleaxe, Zhou Yu ran to it, and he turned red, he poked Sun Ce and suddenly a small green bar appeared which dropped to half way, Sun Ce moaning but suddenly recovering.
Huang Gai - "Ce do your Musou!"
Sun Ce - "Do my what now!?"
Huang Gai - "Your special attack!"
Sun Ce - "
"
Huang - "...press cirlce"
Sun Ce - "Ok..."
Ce pressed circle, he did nothing, but quickly a few large white lines got drawn to his body.
Huang Gai - "You need to charge it up, or attack something repeatidly
Ce started beating up Huang Gai, he dissapeared too, leaving a golden sword, Ce walked too it, and a small sign saying +8 Attack hovered above him.
In the horizon a small ship appeared, but it was not a ship, it was a few pot noodle containers blue tacted together, and was being pushed by Dian Wei, Xu Zhu was maning the ship with an eye patch on, he had a piece of wood straped to his knee, and his lower leg was tied behind his back.
Xu Zhu jumped off.
Xu Zhu - "Argh! You dare invade my piraty vessel in these fearsome waters! YArr ye have more bravery than the Giant Squid
Dian Wei - "He thinks he is a pirate"
Xu Zhu - "Ye know Too Much, Walk ye Plank, ye Dian Wei of... Wei!"
Dian Wei - "ok... idiot..."
Dian Wei walks off the plank on the fake vessel, the floor suddenly opens up and Dian Wei falls into the void, where several hot ladies start playing with him during the floor, Xu Zhu sees this and jumps for the closing void. It closes up and he misses it anyway, he falls to the floor, his face falling into a small fly encrusted dog turd.
Suddenly a ghost appears!
"I am the ghost of christmas past!"
Sun Ce - "Dude! That is Set 9, this is Set 6!"
"Sorry old chum..."
Sun Ce - "Amatures"
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I thought you wasn't ever gonna rp 
"
